支招小作文| “横”竖都是bar
2020-09-24 08:18:42 36
雅思小作文真题直击 | | 栏目推送说明
分享雅思考试小作文真题范文。每一篇范文都经由专业团队反复校对，最终外教审查定稿。成功就是日复一日那一点点小小努力的积累。
本期小作文供稿：
章 跃
题源：剑桥真题集13的73页（横向的bars）
题目给出一个时间点：
2014年，写作者应确定两点：1.时态；2.“同时不同项（十个国家）”。
* 可以从结构的角度方面没有conclusion，但是从内容的角度方面不可以没有overview。如果overview在introduction处出现，那么可以从结构的角度而言没有conclusion。
高分范文及解析
☟☟☟
bars illustrate ten countries’ production and consumption of electricity in the year of 2014, and the ten countries produced and consumed more electrical power than did the world’s other countries. Overall, of the ten countries, the two leading ones left the others farbehind, and in nine of the ten countries, the productioncould meet the need←注意：没有机械的说成“was greater than the consumption”.
注意：Body和Introduction的信息联系（方框里的话）。
China andthe USwere the two leading countries.←总（笼统，免数据）-分（要有具体的数据信息）→In China, the outputand usagewere both over 5,300 billion kWh, and in the US, the figureswere roughly 4,000 billion, and the massiveamountsmade the two countries ahead ofthe other countries by enormous margins.
注意：被作者选出的main features是哪些。
Among the other eight countries, Russiais noteworthy, ←总（笼统，免数据）-分（要有具体的数据信息）结构在一个句子中体现：主句描述“总”，状语从句描述“分”。→since itwas the only country where more than 1,000 billion kWh of electricity was produced and meanwhile consumed. By marked contrast, South Koreais noticeable for its lowest position. Germany and Indiaare also notable. ←总（笼统，免数据）-分（要有具体的数据信息）→ re was inadequacyof electricity in German, since the countryproduced 526 billion kWh whereas consumed 582 billion kWh, and, in India大约有1,720亿千瓦时 盈余 ，是九国中发电量大于消费量的最大国家。同时，日本，加拿大，法国和巴西在前十名中。
